Halloween Horrorscopes - The Sewanee Purple
Anna Cook Features Editor Aries : Everyone knows the urban "myth" that we unknowingly swallow an average of four live spiders in our sleep per year, but you my friend, are located on the far outskirts of this distribution, swallowing up to 12. Don't brush your teeth much, eh? Spiders are drawn to food, and your mouth is chalk-full of neglected food scraps and particles, smeared all over your teeth and gums. Spiders everywhere within your 20 mile radius are racing to get a nibble once you doze off each night. Alas, many slip into your gaping mouth hole, tumbling downward towards their acidic demise. Taurus : When you were carving your decorative Halloween pumpkin yesterday, something didn't feel right. As you sawed vigorously into the orange, porous, tender flesh, a nervous guilt hovered in your stomach. "Can plants feel pain?" you wondered to yourself in quiet horror, which was quickly followed by the q...